Where Am I?

Where Am I
When I can’t hear my own voice
Feeling my way in the dark
I heard something
Following a gut
Instinct
All that’s left

When the world shouts you down
Drowns out the sound of your own thoughts
Losing my way
Losing my self
I can barely touch, fingertips outstretched
Lips moving — no sound

Hands out in front
Feeling the relief map of
Life’s walls beneath my prints
Reading lips to guide me back

Deep within
The core knows, what I mean
But I doubt
Sometimes, I doubt
When the whole world says you’re wrong
How do you go on?
When does trusting yourself
Become arrogance

How can you sense
If they are here to pull you back from the brink
Or assimilate your mind
Appropriate your heart
Stifle your drive

Only I know
But if I’m losing my way
How can I be trusted?
Who do you trust?
When you look at life from both sides
When you consider all opinions
When you question your own blink

Where Am I
When no one else believes
When no one grabs your hand to guide you out
Just laughter and
Admonition
Satisfaction in the demise
Validation- their choice

The only answer is
The quiet

Shut it all out
Shut them all out
Even your own questions
And doubt

Retrieve the blink
Absorb the gut
Catch the breath
In the quiet
In your stillness

Listen

To
Where I am

Vanessa Nix Anthony
May 3, 2010